Tips for a ‘25 Grad
You've won! A HS diploma is not a hard enough challenge to prove that to yourself. But look at the chips you hold: parents who love you, friends who’ve known you forever & yet still like you, strength enough to climb any mountain. Just by being NORMAL you’ve done something your parents couldn’t pull off (technically, this is called Regression to the Mean). High five!
Unless you can celebrate now, being billionaire-rich won’t deliver that joy. Money buys time, with your family, your friends, or your self. You’ve got all that now. So take this moment to feel the joy & gratitude
Today, and if/when you collect more diplomas, you’ll find yourself asking
What should I do now? Have I learned how to do anything the world wants?
Problem-solving is life’s #1 skill. Build resilience by asking, “What in this fresh Hell can I improve now?” Life problems are rarely one & done. Like shaving, being thorough won’t prevent you from having to do it over & over
High school teaches one core lesson: no one cares if you check out. Your first glimpse that it’s hard to stand out likely came from college applications. That also revealed that society imposes pointless trials, just to test your ability to conform
Specific goals (like “doctor”) turn you into an under-informed teenager’s robot. Directional ambition (maximize vitality) is unstoppable, even if Plan A turns out to be a bust. Planning your career in 2025 is ridiculous—no one knows what is going on. War, economic crashes, more epidemics, all possible. Hopefully also more bubbles ahead – those are lots of fun while they last
Do NOT just follow your passion. Humanistic wisdom gives life meaning. Read literature, travel, make art, write fiction. Few will ever be paid to read books. So, first level up your skills. Then, invest in broadening your mind forever afterwards
College is the time to get skills & grab opportunities. You can build concrete, useful abilities, esp if you study a subject that demands a lot. A technical degree (engineering, science, math) will arm you with tools. No matter where you & the world end up, thinking like an engineer or scientist will help
Sciences are data sciences. Learn to analyze, visualize, & critique DATA. The more tools you master for handling data, the less bullshit you’ll have to endure
It takes 6 months to do a handstand. You already know some skills that required dedication and perseverance to master. Collect more of those
What if you’re like 50% of Stanford’s undergrads, a fuzzy, not a techie? Then build non-academic skills. Sales is hard (it’s 99% rejection). If you learn how to sell a comb to a bald man, you can name your salary. Selling (e.g. solar) builds muscle. Throwing a big party or running an organization can also build skills
Money is a crisp arena to find out what the world likes. It feels good to be paid. The more ways you know how to help people, the more choices you’ll have. You have reached a high level of skill when you sense you have bargaining power.
When you do low-skill jobs for money (catering, yard work, etc), try to do them for the powerful. If your labor shines, rich people have the means to pull you up
If you can’t get hired, find ways to do that sort of work anyway. It will sharpen & showcase skill. People do get hired by showing off smart ideas in videos/blogs
Homework is mostly fake. Put your energy into things others see and can reject. College assignments don’t expose you to real-world feedback. Problem sets and programming are scary because they either work or don’t. It’s the good kind of scary when you can’t fool yourself
Don’t always be yourself. In novel social contexts, just try to role play having confidence. A lot of success is fake, so it’s fine to ACT like you are winning
Dancing, singing & playing music are intrinsic goods, and help you meet your person. It’s fine to feel awkward, as long as you still dance. Read your body’s owner’s manual. Aim to visualize the biomechanics of your spine, neck, sacrum
Run tiny experiments. Log your bets in a notebook like this. Write down questions, choose something to vary, track what you try
Interacting with inspiring teachers is college’s #1 opportunity. A prof’s personality is usually more important than the course content—humanities, eng, whatever
When you find a target field, reach out to people who have that job title. Tell them you admire their achievement, and ask if you’re on track to be like them. Never “pick someone’s brain” (gross). Instead, once they agree to chat, offer to run a quick project to repay the time you’ve taken.
When idle, be not alone. When alone, be not idle. Be the one who forms a study group. Working with others helps you grind. An in-person study buddy (or online FocusMate.com) can enable you to put in a solid one-hour block every day
Don’t waste time asking why you make dumb mistakes. Just try something, w/o seeking root causes. Meditation/mindfulness are not BS, tho’ people typically go crazy before trying. CBT exercises & mindfulness make you stronger by actions
If you need a friend, be a friend. If you think someone is normal, you don’t know them well enough. Even annoying people can teach you (patience & compassion)
Assume kind intent, but only give unconditional trust after someone earns it. Not everyone can be kind. This may be due to addiction, clinical insanity, or plain selfishness. About 5% of people are trouble & should be blocked/goblined
Do not expect to change nearly as much as you currently think you should.
Find out what makes your person happy. Ask. One good q: “What kinds of things do you like that I haven’t figured out?” Then listen, & try to please them
Need to be bailed out of jail? Call me - I’m here for you 24/6
Over time, your mind finds what you expect. Your life will be richer when you expect GREAT THINGS. Expect to be amazed
Sources of Inspiration
All of these words are mine, partly because I couldn’t get an AI to generate pithy maxims.
An obvious inspiration is Marc Andreessen’s 2007 Career Advice
Another font of wisdom is Kevin Kelly